How To Book Ted DiBiase Jr

If I were a betting man, I would have taken a huge loss on this one. If you frequent my writings, you’ll see my constant praise for Dolph Ziggler. Well, it wasn’t so long ago when I was singing the same praises for a guy named Ted DiBiase Jr.

What the hell happened to this guy? His ring skill was as technically sound as they come! How could you miss with this kid? Not to mention, he’s the son of one of the most notorious villains in pro wrestling history – The Million Dollar Man!

Teddy Jr. has been out with an injury for some time, but before the boo boo went down – he was already off the WWE creative radar. I got the chance to see him work a live event in New York in December. I remember being kind of stoked to watch DiBiase give a wrestling clinic for the non-televised event. Then, I hear the fans start chanting something about DiBiase Posse Party….Huh? I don’t get it. Who are you? No wonder you’re not on TV anymore. Then it dawned on me… DiBiase is stuck in creative purgatory.

So let a real pro wrestling writer (my old job), tell you how to book this under appreciated talent. Are you ready? No need to take notes dipshit, this blog isn’t going anywhere…

Book Ted Sr. to sit ringside at a PPV and watch his son lose. Interview Ted at ringside and ask what it was like to see your little boy on the losing end. Ask Daddy if he has any advice for his son on how to make it in such a competitive business, to which ted will simply respond – “Everyone has a price.”

A few weeks later, things start happening for Ted Jr. He starts getting title shots, offers, magazine covers. It’s almost like he just won the new self-image lottery. But how can this kind of change start happening over night?

He gets a high profile match, and even though he blatantly loses, the referee makes an excuse to restart the match which junior wins after a fast count. The fans are confused. His next match appears to be all but lost when all of a sudden his opponent falls to a mysterious injury letting DiBiase secure the pin. Fans are still confused. Weeks later, we learn that Ted Sr. has been bribing and buying his son’s success up the WWE ladder when Daddy tries to purchase a title shot for his son.

Now perhaps this something that could have happened easily in the 80’s, but this is 2012 dammit. This warrants a full investigation into bribery, blackmail, extortion. Everyone is pout under the microscope. A black book has been found with names who were paid off for their services. Suspensions are issued, jobs are lost, and the the company comes under corporate scrutiny. DiBiaise has financially shaken up the institution to get his son over. Who is getting paid off? Who is remaining clean like Serpico? Ted Sr. starts managing Ted Jr., and father and son attempt to steal (or buy) the WWE empire from Triple H and The McMahons.

I could go on, but I just remembered that Vince McMahon doesn’t have me on HIS payroll. So that’s about all I’m willing to offer.

This post is sponsored in part by Hudson County Pest Control & Nassau County Apartments

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